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Now that you are standing in front of me after days and days…
Now that you are just next to me with your eyes fixed on me…
… I feel like a tiny, vulnerable baby. Curious yet scared. Dangerous.
I see the light going through your eyes, passing through your prism. I feel all the colors on my face, soft and fragrant. Dangerous.
I see your brightness, giving me the the desperate search of hope and the addiction of peace. Dangerous
I see your words drifting into my mind like the soft wind in summer. I feel your mind. Deep, dark and mysterious. I would love to dive blindly. Dangerous.
I see something hidden in you. Something more than you, more than me, more than anything in this universe. Dangerous.
And now, I can’t help wondering what you see when you look at me.
Retrograde dangerous.
TIME, THEY SAY...
Hi after such along time...
I read "Mind and Zero" :) well,you make me feel amazing ,too Alfonso,because for me,it is really difficult to find a person that can "communicate" on these subjects :)
Well,I'm such a daily-life person nowaday.but dont think that I forgot about the "Time" concept and sharing some ideas about it.But for some time,I dont know why,I was almost escaping from my PC.Maybe my mind was so busy (Im stil trying to be a scientist .:) ) Now, it is ok.and Im writing again.
First thanks for the words in "Mind and Zero".
And...
Time...
Now,this wont be a spontaneous text as the ones before.I didnt want to write an incomplete text on time concept. So I finished it in almost three days.I feel that it will still be incomplete.
Living in Germany made me think more about time and my "timelessness".I told you,I dont like this concept so much.I really think it is something artificial and made the human beings its slaves at the end.Of course Im talking about the "days,hours,minutes,etc." that we define...In biological sense,or in physical sense,there is a concept of time.For sure.But the thing I hate,using it as the core of daily life.It should stay as a useful definition,I say.I dont really like planning my life,because there is sth that really irritates me and it is closely related to Time concept in my mind: unpredictability. When we use time in the daily life sense,or lets say,in the life of a working person,we are trying to run away the fact of unpredictability.We are defining new entries for almost every second for our little grey cells: 7:30 wake up. 7:45 take the bus...etc etc...how can a daily life Human escape from this web of Time?It seems really difficult.Though not impossible.Maybe the solutions is partially accepting to use time and partially avoding it.The solution is at the understanding of unpredictability and it simportance in designing the life…(here,what the bleep do we know? Comes to my mind and I smile. How can a movie,or a documentary tell about the co-happenings and choices of human beings that much nice? Here,I also suggest you (if you already didnt) to go deeper on quantum mind concept,there are some nice articles online about quantum neuroscience also. Unfortunately among this hill of papers,it is hard for me to find them now ,so I cant write any references here.) Here,I dont know if that make you also feel like the time concept we are drowning in is sth unreal. And realizing this unreality is sth different,a very unique feeling. I dont know how to explain it.
Intrinsic timing,i.e.biological timing or the timing that we can use in higher scales like cosmos and nebulas :), is more interesting for me.It explains our demand for "timing" maybe.And understanding the higher concept of Time will make us more free.I feel it,just dont know how to tell.Let me think more about that.But I want to say some more words about the scientific meaning of time. I said above,I feel irritated when I plan myself in so much detail,maybe the feeling of limiting my space is the thing that irirtates me,or maybe this is an obsession I dont know. But,I think you noticed I use more than one definition to describe time.Actually i ca split it into two.Daily time concept and scientific time concept.Though we use the same scales,same units,one of them loses its meaning as a tool somewhere in btw. And becomes the aim of life.Anyway,u know,we need some rules to explain the chaos and order in the nature.Time is a useful tool in that sense,obviously.Nature has a time concept,like this intrinsic time etc. But to understand it we are the ones that measure in terms of seconds,minutes,years.
Well,here I want to give a break and tell you some about the observations on myself,and my brain :D
I think perception of the world around highly depends on our definitions and these definitions on the observations,experiences and maybe advices. Most of the time,I try to “feel” my thoughts.Think that as a tighly connected upstairs-downstairs relation.Or better,think it as a midway platform btw these two.Here,you have logic and sense.Hmm,I think this is the organ that I feel the satisfaction anyway,feeling the thoughts means analyzing every single conclusion in terms of its sources and relations with other conclusions.It seems difficult or time-consuming but once you get used to,it happens in the “time” course of rapid firings of our little grey cells.If you go like that,you start to observe more,try to use every opportunity to experience more and you start to wonder more about what you hear from others.So,this is a self-triggering positive feedback system.Of course it has some bugs on the way,leading you to go -pufffff- down,to the bottom.But you know how to go to the bottom,so you should know how to get back also. Analyzing gives you the medicine of soul,I think.
Time again…I dont know if you also feel like that,but sometimes I feel that the definitons in common sense are sometimes not valid for me. Time is also like that,as I tried to explain above.
Hmm,I dont know if the text makes sense as a whole.There may be lots of jumps and turn-backs in the text.Sorry for that.
Görüsmek üzere!
Pinar
ALMIGHTY ATOMIC REFLECTIONS LOST IN SPACE
by editordistriktmag
February 20,2007
Ok, I'm back, after long past days letting my mind roll and go for a hike, would like to follow up now with this beautiful exchange of essences...
...
Even if also think that human and nature are the same thing, also think that humans are the usually not doing everything 'right' because of our complex and unstable minds but are always trying to work things out on their own in their also 'not-so-perfect' way....
Lately have realized that my human side was dominating some of my recent life and after going into a shock (since personally come from a very thoughtful and complex evolution), also realized that shouldn't fear or run from this aspect inside me (that many times did before).
After realizing that my mind was taking over situations with no apparent 'easy exit' for me, I decided to pay atention and enjoy the good aspects of being human that also realized that these qualities were not being 'enjoyed' that much by myself and are some of those beautiful things that we all have and not mind much these days....like what?...
...Like enjoying the different smells on the streets, from enjoying other person's perfume when they walked by, to the smells of a bakery, to the different smells of the stores facing the street, the interesting and complex of the non-verbal language of the persons, etc...really interesting and joyful in the end...after some time, my mind gave up on producing negative stuff and is starting to calm down...
Please share with me some of the fun stuff in your life lately, like your observations for example, also would love to know about the levels of relations with people in your life, etc!
...
Time, well for me 'time' is a primitive measuring way of explaining and also denying the complicated limits of our minds, fortunately, also to tell us 'what to do' but for me, that's also an even more primitive way of behaving about this worldwide concept.
The more interesting version of time for me is the one that says that as humans we're more attached to the 'time' concept visually than any other sense in our bodies (since we 'see' the watch, 'see' the aging of our bodies, 'see' the sunrise-sunset, 'see' the time go by, etc) time could be a misunderstood concept of REALLY explaining things on this physical status of our existances.....
Anyways, for me time it's the almighty atomic reflections lost in space after being reflected from the things we can see with our eyes (and therefore think it also exists). This reflections of light MIGHT also keep infinite amounts of information about the places from where they 'bounced' (like the body of the person at a certain moment or a piece of cloth and all the complexity in the atoms of the matter they form).
Since these particles go through a dramatic transformation and separation when crashing into the body that actually gives them the actual shape of what we as humans see, might be also reasonable to think that they also absorb other ways of energy that can contain all this info....can you imagine if we could actually see the shape or color of Love? or our emotions? and not only the light that our eyes catches? How could all this 'look' like? Can you imagine if we could see with our hearts as much as we can see with our eyes? (we all can see with our hearts, not always do it).
In other approach; we could also have in 'time' the answer to ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS and differences as humans since it is the ONLY concept that every human living in this world know and agree on...even the people that have to know about harvest time and that are the ones feeding the rest of the world in every field in every country....
In just a few words, personally think that there's so much more about time that has not been said or thought about in the positive or productive ways so far and the only way is to invent it! so let's talk about some more soon...
This is a very juicy subject that could go forever in my head....now please share with me something from that mind of yours about the concept of time and this unreal thought of it....i'm dying to know !
Now also would like to ask you other 2 questions about your unique and wonderful perception of things:
1.- Existence?
2.- Human Existence, Human Love and Human Time?
Would love to spend more virtual time on all this if you're happy to do so...
...
Hasta pronto !
Alfonso
AN ENDLESS PUZZLE
by drakiross
February 14, 2007
after a long time...again here...
thanks for your text.when I read I was shocked,you can guess,I didn't expect an answer at all.
now...
Where is my organ,to start with?
Well,it is somewhere on my spinal cord, because when I feel that I'm coming closer to myself as a whole, I feel an electric shock there - like a cold water poured inside me.
But I'm not sure if it is a kind of organ in the sense you described, because it behaves more like an organism...hmm...if we think in a different way,we are composed different cell clusters, forming different organisms coming together,working together...so it is ok...
Well,loneliness revisited...I dont how to define the loneliness inside when I'm that much crowded...Im crowded,these "me"s different at each time,wont give up "me", lets say there is a dominant me for a defined period of time, and lets say that dominant me is the me feeling the loneliness. Then somehow it is obvious that loneliness is something I do create. I define my relationship with other people in certain precise levels...so...loneliness is something I define and choose to live in some extent. Then that is also ok.the thing that is not ok is the loneliness which is unexpected - like loneliness of mind which is like the silence before the storm. Silence seemingly peaceful but for the ones who know it, it is an alarm. Again,I feel like Im not making sense...anyway...
I saw the movie already,what the bleep do we know. It is almost perfect ; comments on it will make another text because it deserves that. The best part : it was also a kind of documentary,make you think and learn maybe...
Well,I'm having fun nowadays.I'm in a situation that can not really be explained, but I can say that I'm observing and having fun of that.What do I observe? first of all,others...then,"me"s..then,nature...(I dont want to make this discrimination between human and nature,but i hope u understand.) All the time my brain produces little spikes that makes me satisfied about the process. Yea,though it is painful in some sense. But I'm trying to take it as a huge experiment. My spikes won't give up and my spinal cord will be colder, fine, very fine indeed. Actually that was the feeling I first felt when I read the things you wrote. This nice cold...It is also fun. And the words,biggest problem is how to use them,how to play with them and find the right sequence that makes the desired result. It is hard...it is like solving the puzzle and the puzzle starts at me. When you think you put the last piece you realize that there is more...then at some point you come up with the idea that actually there is no border for the puzzle.Then you have this cold feeling again which is completely ok.
I'm writing in a very nonsense order. I'm not sure about the content actually,I'm just thinking and writing. Hopefully,you wont have difficulty in decoding. I know, you feel that there is a lot more ,stuck up in the gaps between the words. Perfectly fine. Feeling is the thing because I guess it can just be felt. By the way, i hope you get it also. It is valuable, someone seeing the gaps. Really valuable for me. It is a kind of proof-reading mechanism of the soul,you know. And for that you need outside help, another enzyme will come with the help to proof-read you. That's amazing, nature works like that, why not the me's? Right?
Yea, nowadays I don't care what my conscious mind tells to me: "do that, oh no dont do that, come on do that before it is late, you lazy, stand up and do that, no time for that, dont waste your time on that, do that rather than that". I'm not listening, that's the best. It is I #2 (yep, it was first of all different me's), she keeps talking, sometimes she should be ignored.
What else...
What about time????
What do you think time is?
I think it is not real 
So direct? Not real, but in that sense : we created a measure of time, to agree on the daily schedules, big timing of big events and now see how we end, we became the slaves of what we created. Nonsense again,right? I think it is. I'm refusing to be its slave. I don't carry a watch because of that (I know a little childish way of protesting still it is a little strike against daily-ness.)
Hmm what else...
I'm sleepy again. This is not sleeping, my mind is trying to get the control over in a "reliable,controlled" way in the modern sense, but "me"s are against the mind control nowadays. So when I sleep-like then me's plan the strike against the mind , come up with little little spikes.
What are these "me"s are composed of? I don't know. I guess little spikes are acting like cells. I'm proliferating!!!
Soul? It is some other debate...hard debate...
Anyway,that's it for now,is there any other questions?
I have lots of questions,waiting for the right time, and I feel like I should write more as a kind of reply to your text, lot's of things can be written. hmm,lets spend some more virtual time on it.
Thank you, Alfonso
It is nice know you,even a little bit...
DREAM ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES NOT THE RESULTS
by editordistriktmag
February 4,2007
 Interesting, very interesting indeed...lots of electricity flowing inside that head of you no doubt...
For me zero in math is like happiness in our lives.
Even if it doesn't have any specific value or 'use' by itself, it has the power to transform anything into something when found and applied appropriately.
Great achievements involve great risk and this beautiful process is usually spoiled by my mind when it goes into negative directions that are kinda' destructive sometimes in my head....the more intelligent and bright, the more complicated will be to direct our minds into a single direction (and we only have 2 directions usually + and -).
Freedom is for me that feeling inside your body when you feel no pressure and you feel a new 'body-organ' becoming present or 'alive' inside you.
This feeling and 'organ' is really everything to me, i'm desperately trying to keep it 'reachable' all the time since this is the way it REALLY is meant to be but our minds who makes it hard for us during our lifetimes.
If you really become conscious about it you'll also find out that you need nothing else (material or not, religious, etc) to 'feel' this inside you. In my case this organ is located between my stomach and spinal cord. Where is yours ?
 The loneliness scares me when we let my mind take control of the situation. For a person that lives most of the time 'upstairs' in their heads this can be REALLY complicated, recommend to go visit downstairs as often as possible to visit Mr. H. and care for him, pamper him but most important of all spend some time feeling about his thoughts and needs...then...do something with all that, Mr H doesn't want to be only heard.
We're all observers indeed, and this is the most natural way of learn (or not) during our lifetime on this watery and conflictive sphere that we all live in (complicated concept as you surely know).
Yes, sphere, infinitely indescribable just like our minds and souls, BUT you can get as close as you want or need to describe it. Just like the rest of the things in life, ignorance is bliss, for some people this round shape will be a circle only and for some others will be a equation that complicates more when we try to describe it infinitely with no final answer (but the path that we ran trying to define it).
Yes as our good friend Mr G. said once, Math is the language used and 'scripted' by this universe (in other words of course)....but not all the answers are there right? Maybe just like there are non in the other abstract way of thought called faith.
In moments like this, profoundly recommend a movie (more like a documentary really) called:
'What the bleep do we know?'
If you already saw it would love to know your comments about it and if not, go rent it and watch it...now please !
Who am I? A person that thanks you today for the inspiration and reflection given by your text.
All this has already inspired my next contribution inside distrikt magazine.
Do I wonder, imagine, think about yourself, person, etc? YES ! but rather not do it since my mind will interfere with a lot of things and spoil (or try to) at a certain point.
Fortunately, your text and mine came from downstairs so i'll be enjoying all this as long as I can before upstairs give the order to 'go back to reality' ooops there comes gravity !
Before leaving you one last reminder...
If you go deep and later deeper it's perfectly fine under one condition: Have fun doing it!
Why shouldn't we, right?....yes, our minds will not allow us...
Have a beautiful night and don't ever forget to dream about the possibilities not the results.
Thanks a lot.
A.
p.s. usually 'selfishness/ego' is a misunderstood attitude about human achievements that is poorly projected by the 'selfish' person and eagerly wrongfully labeled by the spectator.
NOT MAKING SENSE AT ALL
by drakiross
Feb 3, 2007
Again,Im writing.
Language doesn't matter,grammar doesn't matter. How can it make a difference? All of them are the same..Use whichever language you want, the result will be the same: Garbage of words, what is "succesfully" told = nothing = 0. Actually, zero is not nothing.
Whatever. Really,it doesn't matter which language you use. Then just go on.
Now,
We are alone. And I am a "we".First is that.Then, second assumption for domain of life: alone means space you span.
Then,why do we still communicate? Why do I still want to communicate?
That is the question to be answered...The answer will reach to 42 at some point,I feel.hahaha.
This movie goes on.This puppet moves on...
 Being "broken", but completely broken, is actually something good. As Tyler said, you should lose everything -maybe even give up everything- to be free. Then, what is freedom?
Here,I need a definiton...
And science...my science...my satisfaction...my hungriness to know...I will never be completely satisfied I guess. I will just go on. Then, this gives rise to a reason to communicate. This is a kind of observing, right? Right!
Then,ultimate goal is no goal again. Sounds good.
Then should we stop?
??
??
Here, I want to thank to my endless love, "the director".
I don't like the director...It is selfish I guess....What is the director,how can it be selfish???
Nonsense again,just nonsense...
But I feel this, you are there,reading this nonsense.
Then let me ask a question. Who are you? Why are you reading this?
Do u wonder what I feel?
Do u wonder who I may be?
How am I? Do u wonder?
I do.I really do.
Sometimes I feel,you are a kind of reflection. Why not?
Maybe I can try to reflect myself into another dimension, where the verbal dimension is created. Mathematics. Then I would lose myself, be composed of symbols only. Then,maybe one day, someone would solve me. I would be one of the most complex equations to solve. Human is. Really is.
And the very first assumption is that human exists. Funny.
Lets play in the smelling garbage of words more.
Everyhting goes deep,smells bad,muddy,sticky,you cant get rid of it ; you cant get out of.You have to stay there. Every move,every word you try to use, makes you go deeper in the mud. Even a dot u use. I used five words to tell about a dot. And eight words to tell that. I'm going deeper.
Another thing I wonder is how deep I can go.
It seems endless.
I need a definition of end here.
For example,
this may be an end for this.
It all started with an entry on my deviantart page, which was "not making sense at all". I was not expecting any comments from other users, actually it was an unconscious moment of "flowing" from myself. Even I had difficulty to understand what I wanted to say, when I read it the next day. But surprisingly (and luckily), someone replied. Someone who really saw what I meant there, and commented on it.
Then the exchange of ideas, or a kind of brain-storming started. Maybe very abstract but very deep and subtle. I really liked it, we really enjoyed it.
It's been a while and then he, Alfonso Corona, wrote a stunning article: Mind and Zero. And with this, I felt so touched, and so happy : this entry, which didnt make sense at all in the beginning, made some sense at the end. And this time, not only for two of us.
Time passes so fast. It was February 3, 2007 when I wrote that entry. More than a year. Recently, I discovered the "magical world of blogging", it was a start of a new age for me in a way. Then this new blog in English was created. Well, I thought I should start with what did "not make sense at all" and the ideas and writings it inspired for two human beings.
So, before revealing a part of my inner sanctum, I'm now editing some past texts and putting my parts in a more readable form. This series will start with "the" entry and go on with the first comment from Alfonso, and then mine, and so on. At the end, you will be able to read the article that will exhilarate your mind, "Mind and Zero" by Alfonso Corona, published in the Distrikt Magazine.If you want, you can also immediately see the article here. I won't change our nicknames in the deviantart, so my texts will be by "drakiross" and his by "editordistriktmag". I will put the texts here as one in two days.
Maybe you are asking now, what is all that for, why do I put an already published article on my blog and why do I edit texts and put here though they already exist online somewhere else? The only reason, which ,I think, is also one of the reasons why we had this connection with Alfonso: the flow of ideas. What we enjoyed was the process, which led to beautiful products of mind. So the aim is simply to introduce you "the flow".
Well, if you are ready..
.. let's go!
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